Home > Relationships After the Trip > Relationships : How I Met My Wife in Korea…

Relationships : How I Met My Wife in Korea…

…and what happened between then and now.
I met Uhni at Sunlin College in Pohang, South Korea in September 2007. The circumstances were not amazing, but they were divinely orchestrated. I firmly believe this.
I went to South Korea primarily because I felt like God had called me there. I know that Uhni was part (but not all) of that calling, and she was definitely worth the leap of faith.
We met at first simply for her to learn English, but we soon struck a deal. Because being alone in Korea is lonely (imagine that), we traded English lessons and activities. She would take me to see a movie, or get new glasses, or something, and I’d teach her English. It was a lot nicer than charging money. Another reason I liked this arrangement is that she was a real friend. In Pohang, there is a fair amount of interest in westerners amongst younger people. While there are many westerners in Seoul, there were relativity few in the smaller cities. This created an environment where people would often come and want to talk with me, but have very little real interest in me, personally.
Uhni was different, and honest, and something not completely normal to me, or to Korea. I knew I liked her after the first meeting, but it was about a month before I knew I wanted to date her. We were at the Kyungju world expo. There wasn’t some golden moment or some key event, though the day did mark my first train trip. Instead it was the cumulation of a great day with a girl I really liked.
Some time later I asked her if she would date me. She didn’t answer immediately, by any definition of the word. For about two months I would occasionally ask, and she would decline to answer (neither “yes” nor “no”). Patience is a virtue.
So she said yes, eventually, but I went back to America a few months later. She was going to come to America to study, if she could get the visa for it, which is no simple thing. We waited 7 months before we could see each other again, which is neither a dramatic, nor inconsequential amount of time. Again, patience was a key theme.
While we were apart, we talked over the Internet. When she arrived in January, the time I had waited suddenly dissolved and things felt like a continuation from before. Of course she had a lot of new problems to deal with. She missed her parents, she hated carpet, she had to deal with roommates and English and classes and new food and a bunch of other problems. The first year was hard on her. I’m proud of how she has adapted.
As I wrote in the entry prior, this Christmas I went back to visit her parents. I’d met them before, but this time I had an agenda. I asked her father for permission to marry her. This is apparently not a Korean custom, as, between my bad Korean, their non-English and confusion about expectations, it was a big mess. She was brought into the situation to translate for me. No surprise engagements here. Her parents didn’t answer yes or no. Instead, we waited about 6 months before they gave our wedding their blessing.
Now, as we near three years of knowing each other, we get ready for the biggest step. Tomorrow afternoon we will be married. We have the blessings of her parents and mine. It’s a small wedding, but a big deal. I’ve known for a long time I wanted to marry her, and now that’s about to happen.

  1. javi
    August 30, 2010 at 12:53 AM

    Hello , you have more experience!
    can you help me.!

    i fell in love with a korean boy. We met in canada, we were two months together and He return to Korea On July.
    I just want to go to Korea and look for him.
    but now I feel that love is not mutual as before.

    What should I do? Go to korea? is His Birthday today!

    How is life in Korea?

  2. Sage.sunhee
    July 7, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    Lovely story

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